Some common complaints that come up in relationships:

. . . she spends everything I earn . . .

. . . we have different ideas about child rearing . . .

. . . why do you need to shout?

. . . we had an argument; it's over; why can't we have sex now?

. . . why don't you listen to me?

. . . why don't you see my needs?

. . . why do I need to explain you everything?

. . . why aren't you warm towards me anymore, why don't you compliment me, why don't you bring me gifts anymore?

Most couples begin their relationship in a love story. What happens along the way? Why do couples end up in conflict and anger and become more distant from one another?

Everyone enters a relationship with expectations and past conditionings and assumes that their beloved will meet their needs. We all have traumas, childhood scars, and images as to how love 'should' be expressed. We need to learn to express all of this: both our pain and our expectations. A large majority of couples do not know how to communicate within the relationship. One of the most binding elements in a relationship is love. Distancing elements in a relationship are unexpressed anger, disappointment, judgment, criticism, and, of course, unfaithfulness.

There is a reason for your initial attraction. You have chosen precisely the right partner with which to confront your relationship issues. Our strongest attraction is to the person who has similar unsolved issues-familiarity is mistaken for love. If we want to make our relationship into a growth environment, we must learn how to accept, communicate, and be aware. We can make an agreement with our partner to help us grow through our difficulties.

I like couple's counseling for two main reasons. First, it is about consciousness or awareness. How is your behavior disturbing the harmony in your relationship; how is it contributing to the harmony? And so you get to reflect on your unconscious parts and to 'clean' these up. And, second, I like couple's work because everything you are facing is in front of the mirror that is your partner. In that mirror you can see yourself in ways that you cannot find anywhere else. Your partner is also like a witness. They see you and reflect you and they can mark your rough spots as well as celebrate with you your ability to bring light and love to these dark places. And so if you grow in a place which touches an unseen part in your partner, they too will be forced to awaken and to see where they are unaware.

So turn on your webcam, connect your microphone and speakers, and let's have our first Skype couples' session. Please give me the honor of guiding you and your partner in an upward spiral of peace and harmony in your relationship.